Zoos are interesting places. They provide an opportunity to learn about animals you don't see in your everyday life, unless you happen to live on the African savannah or you work as a zookeeper. But I doubt zookeepers spend their day off at work and I haven't heard good things about the availability of the internet in the savannah, so I'll continue to assume you don't spend you day hanging out with marsupials.

There's one thing zoos have more of than animals and that’s plaques. I'll skip the flossing joke and just tell you to ignore these things. They may seem like a great source of information about the animal that is balled up at the back of the cage sleeping, but what if something exciting happens while you're reading about how the animal spends most of its time sleeping curled into a ball. It might shift in its sleep and you'd miss out.

Instead of spending your day at the zoo reading, use your eyes for watching. You can learn all you need to about the animals by just listening to the people around you. Some might consider this eavesdropping and a bit rude, but no one will know unless you point and laugh at them.

Here are a few animals I learned about during a recent trip to the zoo.

African Penguins. They're not just for Antarctica anymore apparently. Also some of them were retarded because they spent their time staring at rocks instead of swimming around like their friends.

A Warthog Named Pumba. Or maybe it was his brother or cousin. I'm not really sure. I left before the argument was finished.

A Really Large Dog. I am so glad I was set straight on this animal. For years I've been calling them cows. Boy, do I feel foolish.

Unicorn. No, I won't tell you which zoo I was at. I don't want it overcrowded with people gawking at the unicorn. Its secret is safe with me and that little girl that kept yelling about it.

I also learned how to tell the difference between a male and female chimpanzee. That should come in handy at the next Chimp Social. I can't believe I danced with that guy for hours last time and no one told me.

Finally and probably most importantly I learned that Dippin Dots are kosher. It doesn't really help me any but maybe some of you out there might have been wondering.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

3 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : food, places