Hershey, Pennsylvania calls itself the sweetest place on Earth. Don't take the name too literally. A mouthful of Hershey dirt will still pretty much taste like dirt. Although the streetlights are giant Hershey kisses and if you're lucky you may catch the scent of chocolate in the air, probably because there is a giant chocolate factory in the middle of downtown, which is the source of the smell not the streetlights. If you haven't guessed by now the name isn't just coincidental, this town is the birthplace of Hershey chocolate. It's also home to an amusement park called Rutger's Fantastilogical World Of Wonderfillicity And Adventurtainment. Ok, it's really just called Hersheypark.

In its beginnings Hersheypark was just that, a park. There was even a space in its name. Hershey park. See. It was built by Hershey's founder Milton, as place for his employees to relax and have fun. Eventually ol' Milt realized park benches aren't the best rides and built a few, with the first two being a merry-go-round and a carrousel. I know what you're thinking. "Aren't those the same ride?" Look, I'm just reading from the history books, ok? Anyway, those rides then multiplied into what the park is today. Amusement park rides are like bunnies that way. Instead of going into more detail about the park itself, since that isn't what I meant to talk about today, I'm going to focus on something else. Just outside of the park entrance is a building which is often overlooked by the people in a hurry to be strapped to a steal beast and flung into the air. Inside is a magical land where chocolate dreams come true. It's also free.

No trip to Hersheypark is complete without a stop at Chocolate World. It's part information center, part shopping center, part entertainment center. That's a lot of parts and centers. A lot has been added to Chocolate World over the years. There is a food court that manages to serve things other than chocolate and a gift shop area that does sell chocolate along with t-shirts and stuffed renditions of Hershey products come to life. Even more recent additions include a 3-D movie and something called Factory Works, which appears to be an interactive walkthrough factory something-or-other. But the most important thing in Chocolate World is the thing that has been there the longest. Now that the building is so full of other attractions it's been given its own name. To many Chocolate World is synonymous with what is now known as the Chocolate Tour Ride.

A long time ago actual tours were held in the Hershey factory but too many people were drowning in the chocolate river. Wait. That may have been at some other chocolate factory. Anyway, the tours in the factory stopped. If you want to tour a Hershey plant you'll have to go to Canada. Having been there through I can tell you is it overrated, both the tour and Canada. Back in the USA you'll have to settle for the simulated version of the factory found in the tour ride. I won't lie. Apart from the first time you ride it, this ride is boring. Even the first time it only keeps your attention since you're anticipating the exciting part which sadly never comes. That isn't to say that the ride can't be fun, but it will require some work on your part. Here are some tips:

First up is the queue. This is one part that has actually changed over the years. It's now been given a jungle theme. Make sure you keep making comments about the monkeys. "Do you see the monkeys?" or "Any minute the monkeys are going to come out!" are good choices. There aren't any monkeys, but you can be entertained as the confusion ripples through the line.

Once you've navigated the deadly moving floor and made it to your vehicle the journey begins. It starts off talking about the two ingredients of milk chocolate. Can you believe they're milk and chocolate? Who knew? The cocoa bean segment is not too impressive but pay close attention to the milk section. It's home to the only animatronic thing on the ride, a cow. Unfortunately it's a mute cow, so if you want to hear any mooing you'll have to do it yourself.

After the silent cow comes the best part of the ride. You get to travel through a giant roaster just like the cocoa beans. While it's only slightly warmer inside the roaster it's your job to make the car behind you think something horrible is up ahead. Tortured screams and shouts of "We're roasting!" seem to do the trick.

Now it's time to journey inside the faux factory, which is home to the next game. Who can smell the chocolate first. The winner gets bragging right for having the best olfactory senses.

You'll also find another new addition to this section. Hershey Kiss guys. They're sort of like Fry Guys but without all that hair. Whenever you see one it's your job to point it out. "Hey look, it's a Hershey Kiss guy!" It's a tough job but stick with it.

As you travel through the faketory you'll see lots of different machines that are used in the actual Hershey plant. Some of them will even look like they're really mixing up chocolate. It's your job to wonder aloud. "Do you think that's real chocolate?" I don't have the answer. If it is real chocolate I hope they change it out otherwise that is some really old chocolate.

As the tour comes to an end, you'll be bombarded by all the different candy products Hershey makes along with a really annoying song. It's really catchy though so make sure to hum it all day so it sticks in everyone's head.

Finally there is the exit, which is a long spiraling ramp that drops you into a conveniently placed gift shop. But half way down that spiral is the real treasure of chocolate world, better than the animatronic cow and even better than the roaster. It's free candy. Most of the time it's just a small Hershey bar, but being free makes it even sweeter.

So there you have it. About five hundred words too many about a place few probably care about. Sure it's boring but something keeps drawing me back there. It seems no trip to Hersheypark is complete without a stop at Chocolate World. As a kid I remember having to wait in long lines for the tram ride but now is usually pretty sparse. Oh well, that just means more free chocolate for me.

Update:
I have some sad news. Since this was written the Chocolate World's Chocolate Tour Ride has been refurbished. When I first heard the news I though it was a joke considering the grand reopening was scheduled for April 1st, but it was unfortunately true. After months of putting it off I finally went to see how drastic the changes were. When the ride was over I was left wondering what the supposed 1 million dollar budget was spent on.

That isn't to say there aren't any changes, but the factory portion is exactly the same apart from the removal of the Hershey Kiss Guys. The majority of the changes occur at the beginning and the end of the ride.

The end of the ride is still a big ad for Hershey products only now there are high tech video screens instead of the old still photos and a new even catchier song. The video screens flash the names of different cities so feel free to claim "Hey, I'm from " as they come up.

The biggest change comes at the start of the ride. The old farm scene has been replaced by three animatronic singing cows. While I'm sure this helps add some excitement to an otherwise boring ride, I miss the old quiet cow. The new cows make a few more appearances throughout the ride so feel free to heckle them whenever they appear. For me.

Finally if you want to get an idea of what the ride is like you can check out the official website. It has a flash slideshow that shows some of the ride, the new singing cows, the roaster, parts of the factory section and the big finale, but most importantly it plays the ride theme song. I'm not to be held responsible if it drives you crazy.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

0 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : places