Kid shows are a dime a dozen, but how do you measure their true success? By the number of toys? In most cases the toys come first in the creation process. The true measure of success is having a music album, whether it's the disco stylings of Sesame Street Fever or the new wave waves of Chipmunk Punk. No, I did not just make those up.

Using this theory it should come as no surprise that there is a CD out there with Ren & Stimpy's faces on it. They soared to popularity in the early 90's, teaching teenagers to love cartoons again, and that not all toons need to be a thirty minute commercials or involve dropping anvils on people's heads. The show has a turbulent past that I won't get into today. Instead it's all about the music and an in-depth review of all twenty-one tracks of You Eediot!

The Whistler / Overture - In the introductory track Stimpy pleads with Ren to listen to his new record with all his favorite songs. Amazingly enough Stimpy's new purchase is the album we're already listening to. I'm not sure if this is meant to lure the listener into thinking they are listening along with the duo, or if it's some strange time paradox.

Dog Pound Hop - This is an extended version of the opening theme song for the show. Or maybe the theme song is a shortened version of Dog Pound Hop. In either case, this song is also used during the big party scene at the pound in the first episode, Big House Blues. I put a party hat on my dog in an effort to see if he'd start dancing to its rhythmic beat, but he just sat on the couch licking himself.

Muddy Mudskipper Theme - Who's the greatest mudskipper of them all? Since I only know one, Muddy, he wins by default. This is another song that actually came from the show, so any regular viewers probably have it stuck in their head by now. He's got segmented eyes.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy - If you know only one Ren & Stimpy song it's probably this one. Had I been an elitist snob I probably would have turned my nose up and the influx of new fans that were lured in by this catchy tune. Who am I kidding? I did turn my nose up at them. Just a little. Without them though there probably wouldn't have been half of the merchandise that made it to the shelves and I never would have learned the joy a plush Stimpy with a whoopee cushion inside can bring.

Firedogs - Finally the first mostly original track appears. I say mostly since the song has never appeared in an episode, but the majority of the song is quotes from the Firedogs episode peppered with lyrics that warn, "watch out for those firedogs." Meh.

Better Than No One - This is an original song. It starts out as a tap dance number and quickly becomes a duet where the pair declares their friendship. At least Stimpy does by claiming no one is better than Ren. Ren on the other hand can only label Stimpy as better than no one. Sort of like this CD so far. It's better than silence.

Nose Goblins - I'm not even sure how to describe this one. Singing boogers. That's the best I can do. The music sounds like something you'd hear in a dark club where everyone is wearing berets and snapping their approval.

Smokin' - It's more of the same jazzy style music from Nose Goblins without all the pesky lyrics. If heard on it's own there would be no way anyone would associate this song with Ren & Stimpy. We're barely half way though and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Log Blues / Log Theme - Whoever decided the track order for this album was a genius. After almost fifteen minutes of garbage, this ray of light shines through. It's an ad for International Log complete with the Log jingle, which was just a rip off of the old slinky jingle.

Captain's Log / Space Madness - When you title a song after what has to be one of my favorite episodes my expectations are going to be pretty high. Instead I'm presented with a song similar to Firedogs. Music, very similar to Dog Pound Hop, plays while quotes from the episode are heard. The quotes do include Ren's rambling about his ice cream bar, which in reality is a bar of soap, but they leave out the part where he take a giant bite out of it.

Sven Theme - It's another music/episode quotes track. This one is actually above average though since the music is completely different from anything heard so far. It's polka. Could you expect anything less from a name like Sven? Most of the quotes involve Stimpy goofing around with Ren's idiot cousin, Sven. While the quotes come directly from the episode, without the corresponding visuals lines like "Wow, it's so big." and "Do you want to see mine?" feel a bit creepy.

Sven Blues - This is little more than an introduction for the next song. Sven and Stimpy spend their rainy day digging though the closet for something to play. They come up with...

Don't Whiz On The Electric Fence - I don't remember if this jingle was actually in the episode, but if it was I know it wasn't the complete song presented here. When only the best in toilet humor will do, be sure to choose Ren & Stimpy.

Ren's Pecs - Stimpy sings about missing his friend now that Ren has his fancy pectoral implants and has moved to Hollywood. It's creepily sad.

I'm Gonna Be A Monkey - Another catchy tune that did make it to air at least in part. I don't remember why they disguised themselves as monkeys but Stimpy is excited about the lessons Ren is about to give on how to be a monkey. How did Ren become an expert on monkeys? He's seen every Tarzan movie ever made.

Filthy's Dance - I don't know why these weren't all one track, but this is a continuation of the monkey song. Ren begins his lesson by showing Stimpy how to swing around like a monkey. Unfortunately Ren's no monkey and finds himself crashing to the floor, or maybe into a wall, the sound effect doesn't clarify.

Jungle Boogie - No, Kool & The Gang haven't found their way onto a kid's album. This track is Stimpy chance to imitate Ren's fancy monkey maneuvers complete with a crash at the end.

Dizzy Monkey - A short reprise of Gonna Be A Monkey by a dizzy Ren and Stimpy. So ends the monkey saga.

Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksman - This was the next big song at the time this album came out. I don't think it ever found the amount of popularity that Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy did, but they tried.

The Whistler / Underture - Similar to the Overture, this is another talking track. In a throwback to the closing scenes from some of the early episodes, Ren and Stimpy are saying goodbye, with Stimpy getting upset. To make him feel better Ren suggests he could listen to the record again. I think I'll sit this one out.

Big House Blues - It's an extended version of the credits song from the show. I'd like some credit that I made it through this whole thing.

Was it really that bad? It's nothing more than I'd expect from an album from a show that only has a handful of memorable songs. Granted all those songs are on there, but it's the filler that drags everything down. If you need to be able to hear Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy over and over again, though, I would highly recommend it.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

0 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : music, television