Today is a special day in history. After multiple failed websites I gave it one last try, two years ago today. Judging from the post history I haven't been trying very hard but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate. If you adopt a kid a month before their birthday you still throw them a party, right? I'm not sure where I was going with this analogy, so let's look back on some of the fond memories of the past two years.

Number of posts: 51 (including this one)
That's almost one post every two weeks. I better slow down before I burn out.

Number of Comments: 64
More than half of them are probably from me. Think of them as bonus posts.

Celebrity Commentators: The Burger King, Green Giant, Sprout, and The Larry King
I think it's no coincidence they all appeared to support my musical career.

Actual Celebrity Commentators: J. Rydman and Kevin West
You can tell they're real because they stopped by once and never showed up again.

Old ladies in the Where's the Beef commercial: Mildred Lane, Clara Peller and Elizabeth Shaw

Comment meant to spark conversation: Anyone else find anything interesting lately?
I asked but no one else commented. Thanks a lot.

Comments I could use on a book cover or movie poster:

I love this web design! I love it! - Sweetie Guy Hutchinson
You have a funny blog like the style. - Chuck
I love it! Can I say that again? I love it and I love the post I'm commenting on... - Cat

Most of these wouldn't make sense on a book cover or movie poster but I won't let that stop me.

Top 5 posts from search results

1. Saucy Sauce Sayings
2. Have You Ever Heard Of Origami?
3. He Is Ollie, You Are Sven
4. Clara Peller And The Mystery Of The Missing Meat
5. The Land of Chocolate

I don't know what the people were searching for but I hope they found it. Considering the amount of food based posts they were likely just hungry. The lesson here is never web surf hungry.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

2 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : announcements

The easiest posts to write are the ones about food because everyone can relate. Everyone eats. Everyone also poops but I'm not sure I'd want that kind of attention if I started writing about it. So let’s get back to food. I feel it's my duty to spread the word about a recent revelation.

Those tiny tree dwelling elves over at Keebler are at it again. This time they've managed to somehow merge pretzels and crackers into an unholy union they're calling Flipsides. You may have seen the commercial where their roving camera crew interviews "real people" on what they think about Flipsides. I could tell they were actors because not one of them said what I was thinking. What would make someone combine a pretzel and a cracker? Being the consumer driven drone that I am I went out and bought a box to find out.

I have to give them credit. They somehow managed to capture the two different flavors in one entity. Most people would let it drop and be satisfied that they found a new and interesting snack but thanks to Food Network's Unwrapped I needed to know how they were made. There's not a seam in the middle so I ruled out that the pretzel and cracker are created separately and later joined. As I pondered how two sides of the same whole could be cooked so differently the truth came to me.

Flipsides aren't an innovative new snack. They are an attempt to cash in on a costly mistake. Imagine, if you will, a machine built to cook crackers. One day the machine breaks down without anyone noticing and produces a batch of crackers that are slightly burnt but only on one side.

When broken in two you can see the inside of a Flipside cracker is the same all the way through. There is probably a bit more done to make it more pretzel like but for the most part you are eating a half burnt cracker. This is the point where I'd say now you know the rest of the story but I'll probably have my hands full with the Keebler legal team without having to look over my shoulder for Paul Harvey's goons.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

0 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : food

Disclaimer: This article is filled with "facts" about state history and the U.S. Mint's 50 State Quarter Program. If you write a research paper using the information provided here you're likely to get an F. Don't write an angry email just because you're even lazier than the author to look up the real information.

I've already talked a bit about the State Quarter Program so now it's time to start looking at the actual quarters and there's no better place to start than the first state quarter minted. Not only is Delaware the focus of the first quarter but it's also one of my favorite states. The design of the quarter is fairly simple with the image of a man riding a horse prominently displayed. Who is this man? Since I don't see any windmills I can rule out Don Quixote and since most people don't know who that is they are left wondering what Paul Revere has to do with Delaware. More on that later.

What piqued my curiosity were the words "The First State." What could Delaware be first in? It's not first in size. Texas wins that contest. (Sorry, Alaska, but everything is bigger in Texas even the populace's concept of how big their state is.) Maybe it's the smallest? Nope. The deceptively name Rhode Island can claim that title. It could be dealing with the order it was minted but every one knows "1 of 50" would have been a better draw to collectors. It turns out Delaware was the first state to ratify the Constitution, not only making it the first actual state but it also means for a brief period of time our country was known as the State of America. That state was loneliness. And Delaware.

Now let talk about a man and his horse. The man's name is Caesar and the horse is Rodney. Together they formed one of the first traveling comedy act. Their routines primarily involved slapstick with Caesar falling victim to Rodney's tricks. This often involved Rodney steering the riding Caesar into low hanging branches or stopping short causing Caesar to tumble off into a conveniently place hay bale. In their most famous routine Caesar would go through preparations to saddle Rodney. Caesar would bend over to pick up the saddle on the ground behind Rodney. As he did so, Rodney would kick Caesar in the pantaloons causing Caesar to straighten and turn to look for his assailant. Seeing only Rodney, Caesar would scratch his head wondering who had attacked him before bending down for the saddle again so the whole process could repeat. They would continue this until the audience was hoarse from laughter and couldn't take any more.

During the American Revolution Caesar and Rodney often performed shows for the troops. In what was meant to be his most spectacular show Caesar planned to perform for Washington and his troops before their famous crossing of the Delaware. Unfortunately due to some bad directions Caesar later found out Washington was crossing the Delaware River, not the actual state, and missed his opportunity. But Caesar fell in love with his surroundings and decided to give up traveling comedy in order to open the first comedy club, Ye Olde Comedee. Caesar, Rodney and their comedy club are long gone but the Delaware quarter honors the fun times brought to our young country by a man and his horse.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

1 adventurer found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : quarters

I hate having to return to a store I've already been to earlier in the day, either because I forgot something or after driving all around town to other stores it turns out they did have the best price. I'm always worried one of the workers will recognize me and make some comment. I think I've worked out a good alibi though.

If anyone ever asks I'll just look confused at them for a second before I give a flash of realization and tell them it must have been my evil twin. If they continue to press the matter and insist that it was me since the other person was wearing the same clothes, I'll lean in a whisper conspiratorially, "That's what makes him evil." At that point I'd imagine I'd be escorted from the store.

And that's why I always change my shirt if I shop at the same place twice in one day.

cravipat escaped the blue labyrinth long enough to write this.

0 adventurers found their way to the golden castle.

Words uncovered in the catacombs : oddities